loversloveliarslie
by prouvaires
Summary: -love is lying to yourself.- TeddyLily


loversloveliarslie

**Rating:** T

**Pairing: **LilyTeddy

**A/N: **Entry for honeybeebeauty and never-ending nights with you's Challenge That Must Not Be Named. Apologies it's not one of the pairings you guys say are your favourites!

**Challenge: **Define the terms _love, hate or heartbreak _throughout a one-shot.

--

He's just the tiniest bit afraid of the way he feels. It's all down to risk management and the calculations about how close to the cliff-edge he can walk without falling fully over and the way her eyes light up when he walks in the room and the way her hips move when she walks in front of him, her hand stretching back to slip into his.

He's watched her grow up and that's _okay _because it means he'll never see her as anything more than a baby sister.

(Love is lying to yourself.)

And then it's Christmas and she tightens the green and silver Slytherin scarf around her neck and spins a full circle in the softly falling snow, laughing and dragging him out into the wild of the whiteness.

"Isn't it just _perfect_?" she sighs against his neck, and he's so busy remembering that she's sixteen and he's twenty-seven that he doesn't think to take a look around until she giggles and shoves him backwards.

He crashes backwards into a snow-drift, his green-and-red festive hair a shock of colour against the blankness.

"You'll pay for that," he warns her, cornering her until, giggling, she pelts him with a snowball and he tackles her, both of them tumbling head-over-heels down into the bottom of the garden. And then Scorpius Malfoy looms out through the gloom, Rose in tow, and Teddy glares as Lily suddenly starts stuttering and flushing and brushing the snow off her clothes. She follows the pure-blood into the house without a backwards glance.

(Hatred is knowing that Malfoy will pick her up and drop her without a second's hesitation. Heartbreak is realising that there's no way he can stop this happening. Love is deciding to try anyway.)

He notices both of them slip away after the huge meal, and he battles his way through a room crowded with relatives that don't really belong to him to follow them upstairs and he halts in front of her bedroom door, suddenly hearing nothing but blood roaring in his ears and his heart dropping like a lead balloon down into the depths of his body.

(Because hatred is watching white-blonde hair mesh with red. And so is heartbreak.)

And then a week later she's in his arms sobbing like she's breaking in two and because he loves her he tells her that it's okay, Scorpius was never good enough for her anyway and that she'll find someone worthy of her.

"I think everyone hates me," she confesses quietly, snuggled into his lap, her head resting on his broad shoulders as she toys with his ever-changing hair.

"Don't be stupid," he replies instantly. "Who could hate you?"

"I don't have many friends at school, and they're all in Slytherin with me anyway."

"The others don't hate you, Lils," he tells her firmly. "They're afraid of you. And there's a massive difference between hatred and fear."

She picks at a loose thread on his purple jumper, her eyes downcast.

"Why would people be afraid?"

"You're a Slytherin, and you're a Potter. And everyone's terrified of Slytherins because you know what you want and you're not afraid to go for it. You're easily as clever as Ravenclaws because you know your weaknesses and you use them. Your emotions run deep and you'll do anything to protect those you love. And everyone is intimidated by the Potters. You know that."

"Why do I _always _have to be in my father's shadow?!" she exclaims furiously, and her eyes flash dangerously and he suddenly realises that maybe the others are right to fear her.

But because he loves her he just draws her closer and lets her cry into his neck, breathing in the honey-sunshine-snow scent that's so uniquely her and pretending he just loves her like a sister.

(Love is letting go.)

And exactly one year later he's maybe getting better at living without her, but then she returns from her trip to Romania to stay with Uncle Charlie buzzing with excitement and love for the dragons and the wilderness and as he watches her bound happily around his apartment he understands that she's grown-up suddenly, and that he just can't be close to her because he'll end up kissing her or something stupid and then Harry will kill him and he'll lose her forever.

"I'm seeing someone," he blurts out. She stops, the wind blown out of her instantaneously.

"But … I thought …" she trails off uncertainly.

"You need to leave now."

(Love is lying to her. Heartbreak is watching her accept the lie as truth and move slowly out of his life.)

But then it gets around six months after that and he hasn't seen her _at all _and he's forced to finally realise that he can't live without her, not at all, so he goes to Harry and tells him the whole truth because he's sick of lying.

And Harry's not mad. He listens and laughs and tells Teddy he can't imagine anyone better equipped to handle Lily and when Teddy just stands looking shell-shocked Harry claps him firmly on the shoulder.

"Stop lying to her, son. Liars lie, lovers love. Your father tried to lie, but his love won out; just like always."

He apparates to Charlie's house in Romania and finds her and the hope on her face nearly kills him as he just pulls her into him and kisses her hungrily and desperately.

(Heartbreak is seeing the tears on her cheeks as they pull apart finally.)

"Why did you tell me you didn't want me?" she whispers, her forehead pressed to his as her hands toy with the hair at the base of his neck.

"I'm too old for you," he tells her, and kisses her again regardless.

"I love you," she informs him sincerely as he tucks a stray strand of her flame-red hair behind her ear and kisses her gently once more.

"I've loved you as long as I remember."

(Love is wading through the hatred and the heartbreak and keeping your head held high because your happy ending will wait for you. You just have to be brave enough to stick your neck out and make a grab for it.)

--

**A/N: **Well … that pretty much sucked, I think. But I need to get the entry up so I'll post it regardless!

Please don't favourite without reviewing, thanks.


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